Before I post the translation here, I want to make a note about a word that Bradley uses a lot in this story - てめえ (temee). It comes up several times in the dialogue. Essentially, Temee is one way to say "you." It is considered rougher/ruder than other words. However, it can also be used for "I," "myself," "oneself," "yourself," "herself," "himself." This is why Bradley's use of the word causes a lot of confusion in the story.
I am leaving Temee in romaji rather than translating it or trying to work around it and use another pronoun.
Now, on with the short story.
Bradley: Today, we're going do the thing where Temee introduces Temee as a pal to everyone.
Bradley: Alright, let’s get started... Hey. What’s with the staring?
Oz: ...
Oz: What is “Temee”?
Bradley: It means “you.” Refers to oneself. Temee is oneself.
Oz: ...
Oz: If you’re not going to call me by my name, then what are you calling me?
Bradley: Temee.
Oz: ...?
Faust: I get how you feel. When I first heard Bradley saying "Temee," I had no idea who he was referring to, either.
Faust: I thought about it so much that I even started to suspect he was talking to some invisible familiar named Temee.
Bradley: You’re overthinking it, you noisy bunch, Temee and all.
Oz: What do you call yourself?
Bradley: Temee.
Oz: ...?
Faust: I understand.
Bradley: You’d better understand.
Oz: ...What?
Oz: ...
...What?
Faust: I get how you feel. I truly do.
Bradley: Figure out which Temee I’m talking about already!
Oz: ...
Oz: Just move the conversation forward.
Bradley: Alright then! First off, I’ll introduce myself as my own friend.
Bradley: I’m Bradley! And this here is my pal, the strongest man in history—Bradley.
Bradley: Fearless, cunning, brilliant, and heroic! Once he sets his sights on a target, whether it’s a mighty foe or a national treasure...
Bradley: Bang! One strike and it’s all over. Watch out for the world’s most dangerous man—Bradley!
Bradley: If you’re ready to risk it all, then tonight... come closer.
Bradley: If he’s in a good mood, he might even treat you to a drink.
Bradley: Hah... Guess that’s about right.
Faust: That was good.
Oz: ...
Bradley: Don’t just sit there clapping like a fool. You two, give it a try. C’mon, you Curse-seller!
Faust: Me...?
Faust: I’m Faust. And this here is my friend, Faust.
Faust: ...Hmm... Well, I know a lot about curses.
Faust: ...
...I’m not exactly a fun guy to talk to.
Bradley: Don’t be so gloomy about it. You’re introducing a friend—highlight the good stuff!
Faust: Good stuff...
Faust: He has nice black glasses.
Bradley: Black glasses? Guess you’re oddly fond of those.
Faust: Chloe complimented them, said they were stylish. They give off a dark, cursed vibe that suits me.
Bradley: You’re happy about the "dark" part?
Faust: Heh... well, I am a Curse-seller, after all. What do you think, Oz?
Oz: ...
Oz: I prefer your bare face.
Faust: You think it looks darker without the glasses?
Oz: No. It’s just better when I can see your face.
Bradley: Nobody asked for your preferences, Temee.
Oz: ...Temee?
Faust: I understand.
Bradley: You’d better.
Oz: ...
Oz: From now on, "Temee" is forbidden.
Bradley: There it is, the tyrannical, selfish demon king!
Faust: Unilateral oppression isn’t good. Don’t throw a tantrum. Look, it’s your turn now, Oz.
Oz: I am Oz.
Oz: My Temee is Oz.
Bradley: Wrong.
Oz: It’s not wrong.
Bradley: Don’t argue with me.
Faust: Oz, let’s not use "Temee."
Oz: Did you hear that, Bradley?
Bradley: Hah? I’m going to keep using it. No matter what anyone says, I’ll use it for the rest of my life!
Faust: Come on, don’t fight. You’ve lived more than three times his age—act like an adult.
Oz: ...
Oz: I am Oz.
Oz: He is my friend... ...
Faust: What’s wrong?
Oz: I have no friends.
Bradley: Swallow that thought! That’s the whole point of this exercise!
Faust: How about calling him an acquaintance? Introduce us to your acquaintance, Oz.
Oz: ...
Oz: His name is Oz. There’s no one who doesn’t know his name.
Oz: No further explanation is necessary. That’s all.
Faust: That’s so cool.
Bradley: Only Oz could pull off an introduction like that.
Oz: ...
(the screen rumbles)
Faust & Bradley: ...!!
Oz: His strength is controlling lightning.
Bradley: Too slow!!
Faust: Didn’t you just say no further explanation was necessary!?
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